What if I don’t get anything out of going to church? (Encouragement for parents)

Especially when you have a little crew of children in tow, it can be really hard to want to keep going to church every week.

On those Sunday morning services when you feel like all you’ve done is chase the toddler until you’re sweating and dole out snacks for the other kids in between potty breaks for the rest…. we can’t help but wonder…

Does church attendance even matter? 

It can really be a struggle, but I want to encourage you! This is so wonderfully important. 

Even when your church offers online streaming options, it is still so vitally important to get the family (and yourself) to a worship service with a church community.

Creating lasting relationships with a local church is such a blessing to your whole family. 

Trust me, there will be days when you carry a screaming child out of the sanctuary. There will be days when you’re finally trying to “socialize” after the service but your kids are yanking on your arm yelling, “LET’S GOOOOO!” 

It’s not always fun or easy, but it is always worth the effort.

So, as a parent of small children, we can sometimes wrestle with this issue.

What if I don’t get anything out of going to church?

Well, I’m sorry to say there will probably be many Sunday morning services that you don’t really hear much of what the pastor is saying. 

But, let me ask you – What are you hoping to “get” out of the Sunday service?

An emotional experience? A deeper understanding of God’s word? A more robust knowledge of our Savior Jesus Christ?

These are all a good reason to want to attend the church service.

But it’s important to note a few things. Church experiences with young children will definitely be different than they would be without them.

That doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing! It just means that (for a season) your most intense study of God’s word will likely not take place in the Sunday morning service. 

Don’t despair! There are so many wonderful ways to learn about God’s love and worship him in the rest of the week. 

*Always measure every teaching against the Word of God. This will mean you have to be learning and studying the Bible regularly.

Related: Morning routines for homemakers

And your own church will likely have a recording of the sermons for you to revisit at a later time. How wonderfully handy is that! 

So, if you are feeling like you didn’t get anything out of church… Did the kids get anything out of going to church?

Yes, a thousand times, yes.

Even if you get loaded in the van after service and ask if they heard anything the pastor said and they say, “…..umm, not really.”

They are still “getting something” out of attending a church.

It won’t happen after the first Sunday service attendance. It will be over the course of a long time of regular attendance.

Seeing the same familiar faces week after week, and making the connections in the community with God’s people. This will be so powerful for them (and you!) 

“Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” Romans 12:15

No matter what life experiences you’re walking through, it is an immeasurable blessing to know you have a throng of people who truly care about your family and are eager to approach the throne of grace in prayer and petition on your behalf.

AND you will get the opportunity to do the same for others. It is truly beautiful.

Walking through hard times with a church family that will take the time to send you a message and see how you’re doing or give you a call to check on you is such a comfort and encouragement. 

Walking through some great things in life is also so much more beautiful when you have people who are rejoicing with you. 

You simply can’t get this same connection in any online application of the church meetings. 

There’s nothing like actually making eye contact with another mom bouncing her colicky baby in the back of the church building. Exchanging a knowing glance and an encouraging smile that touches the heart. That’s a good church life!

*Children in the church is such a beautiful thing and should be celebrated. Yes, we should teach them how to behave appropriately, but they should also feel welcome in the service. 

Related: Tips on taking kids to church.

What if it’s been a while since you’ve attended church?

What if you’re not enjoying your present church? 

Maybe you don’t even know where to begin finding a good church to attend. Don’t worry, this is a good thing! The Holy Spirit may be prompting you to seek out this incredible blessing! 

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So, how do we find the perfect church?

Step 1: You can’t.

Our pastor once said

“If you want to find the perfect church, you’re going to have to die to get it.”

He was making the point that the only perfect church is in Heaven.

I would highly recommend praying about which church to attend. Prayer is so powerful.

As long as you find a church that sticks to what the Bible actually says (another reason it’s SO important to be studying God’s word regularly!) you have great freedom to choose a church that has a worship style that feels comfortable to you.

Have you ever considered how blessed we are to have multiple good options for finding a church home? (Small church or big church, liturgical or charismatic….etc).

So, when you’re trying to find which church to attend (if you’re looking for a new church to begin attending), just know there isn’t a perfect church.

There may be certain things that aren’t perfect, but the right church WILL really feel like home.

If you have tried to attend churches and have found that you have felt “judged” or looked down upon, just know that is absolutely not what God intended for His church.

That attitude is sinful and should be viewed accordingly. 

On the other side of the coin, maybe you’ve wished more people would try to strike up conversation with you after the service.  How comfortable you are with people bombarding you with questions will vary greatly from person to person. 

All that being said: Don’t forget who you are going to church to see. This is to worship our Great God. This isn’t to impress others.

Connecting with a church body is so important, but comes second to coming into the presence of God. 

If you are having a hard time finding a good church home, just please keep trying.

The blessings of belonging to a church home can hardly be communicated. It will invariably enrich your life.

Other blessings of getting plugged in to local congregations

Apart from the personal connections with other church members, there are so many opportunities to serve (and enjoy) other ministries among a church home.

Almost every church today has weekly programs for Sunday school, Wednesday evening activities, events for young believers (youth groups!), and weekly Bible studies.

These are usually where the closest connections will start to form with friends and fellow believers. This is also where the kids will find wonderful friends and make connections with mature believers. 

Don’t give up!

To the mom or dad (or grandparent) of young children that is wondering if it’s worth it…. It absolutely is worth the effort to still go to church.

If you find yourself leaving the service and thinking, “I have no idea what the service was about today.” Just keep fighting the good fight of faith.

This won’t always be easy, in fact our own savior Christ Jesus promised we would have trouble in this life. But God tends to meet us where we are. He is so good.

Continually taking your family to church will become the norm and there will come many days when you actually do get to hear the sermon and enjoy the worship among your church family (with your own sweet family!)

And it is so good. 

God bless you as you seek Him.