The Secret to Finding Joy and Peace in Difficult Times

My entire world felt completely topsy turvy as I maneuvered around piles of boxes with my big pregnant belly, racking my brain trying to remember where I packed the thermometer.

We had sick kids. 4 of them. We had just purchased a new home and all our worldly possessions were scattered around in disarray.

Where was anything?

I felt completely overwhelmed, so I tried to make a to-do list to help collect my thoughts. 

I couldn’t even find a pencil. 

This was so hard!

In my eternally optimistic mind, I envisioned our unpacking and settling in would only take a mere day or two. I had very unrealistic expectations.  

Meanwhile, all my careful planning and packing sat untouched as I kept having to admit over and over that I don’t have the time to unpack now. 

My children needed care. My body needed rest. And we all needed grace.

Loads of grace.

Maybe you’ve found yourself in a similarly unsettled season, and you’re wondering how you might ever get through. 

 I know very few things for certain, but I do know this.

God is with us through every season. And God is good. All the time.

*I’m talking about the run-of-the-mill hard times that hit every person in the world from time to time. I would never want to belittle anyone’s extreme pain and difficult circumstances surrounded VERY serious difficulties. 

Some hard times are life-altering. Today, I’m talking about “normal” difficulties.

And due to the nature of the constant demands of motherhood and homemaking, I understand that some “hard times” are also hard because they’re extremely busy or demanding.

First of all, give yourself room to acknowledge that this is HARD!

Trying to downplay your difficulty is only going to make you feel like a crazy person. You owe it to your mental health to admit that you are going through a difficult situation.

 “I should be able to handle this!”  “Others would be doing better than I am right now.” 

These are lies that we all will be prone to tell ourselves (and sadly believe). 

Not today Satan.

Instead try this…

“Dear Jesus, this is a really hard season for me and I need your grace today and always!”

Be honest. And turn your eyes upon Jesus.

“My grace is sufficient for you…” 

But let’s not dwell on the negativity too long (more on this in a moment!)

After admitting to yourself that you are, in fact, walking through some tough times, you will be ready to move on to triage.

The first thing to consider is, what is God actually asking of you?

It can be really easy for people-pleasers (you know who you are!) to take on way more responsibilities than we can reasonably accomplish without asking God what He is actually asking of us. 

This inevitably hits like a tidal wave of despair when it becomes apparent how impossible the responsibilities are.

Take some time to prayerfully consider if there are any tasks you can gracefully bow out of. Even taking a week or two off from some weekly responsibilities can be one of the simple things that will feel like the biggest lifesaver.

When you are feeling overwhelmed, it’s imperative to start taking some things off your plate. 

*Sometimes difficulties hit our lives and there is no avoiding it. Sometimes hard seasons just have to be hard (for a time).

It’s important to remember when you find yourself in a hard season… a season is temporary.

It sometimes feels all encompassing, like you’ll be stuck in perpetual hardship, but that’s not the case.

Remind yourself that as hard as it is, it is only for a time. Even longer seasons eventually come to an end. 

“I give you thanks, O Lord, with my whole heart!” 

This next part is the hardest part, but will be your turning point. 

Thank God.

Look for things to be thankful for.

Maybe we don’t actually say, “Thank you that my kids are sick.”  

But perhaps we could say, “Thank you God that my kids are getting better.” (This particular flu landed other kids in our community in the hospital…. such a doozy.)

Starting to look for things to be thankful for will change your perspective and outlook on everything.

Circumstances will start to feel less overwhelming and your optimism will skyrocket. Refocusing our attention from the negative thoughts to the good things that we are surrounded by will make all the difference. 

What acts of kindness have you experienced in your difficult moments?

“Thank you, Jesus, for all our wonderful family members that helped us move!”

“We praise you for a new home!”

To be clear, nothing had changed. Our entire life was still strewn about in boxes and bags. I was still sore and pregnant, and the kids were still not feeling well.

It was still HARD. But now it felt like we were going to pull out of it.

Thankfulness changes everything.

Thankfulness is the key.

If you hear nothing else, please hear this.

Thankfulness is our biggest weapon in hard times.

*If you want to take this another step farther, go ahead and start a gratitude journal. It would be really sweet to be able to look back on this season of your life and see God’s hand in your circumstances.

Plus, you will be able to see how God used these tough moments to grow you in the most powerful ways.

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Give Yourself Grace.

Giving yourself (and others) lots of grace can feel really hard when you’re walking through a trying season.

Sometimes we can’t help but feel like if we just worked hard enough, the hard time would come to a close. It would just be all over if we could strategize and work hard enough. 

But through all the negative emotions and positive emotions, it’s imperative that we speak truth to ourselves. Real truth. 

God’s word says, “But He said to me…’My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest on me.” -2 Corinthians 12:9

God’s presence is our lifeline. Sometimes we will feel pretty helpless and we will have to admit that we simply can’t do everything that needs to be done.

It’s going to be okay.

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How can you find a little joy today?

Now, if you’re truly swamped this is probably going to sound insultingly optimistic. Please don’t hear it that way. 

This could be as simple as waking up as the sun rises and enjoying a cup of tea for a sweet moment with the Lord.

Maybe you have a good friend you can call up and visit with for a few minutes this afternoon.

​A little joy means you will have more positive feelings about your own life.

Finding a few little things to bring you pure joy in the midst of a messy season will boost your quality of life. 

I don’t mean to sound dramatic, but isn’t that what a good life is?

Sweet moments threaded together into “good days” to create a good life.

There are many surprisingly simple ways to find little pockets of joy amidst utter chaos.

*Again, I’m talking about the “normal” difficult times. When I say “utter chaos”, I’m talking about things you can laugh about later.

You are doing great.

In life we are inevitably going to find ourselves walking through trials of many kinds.

Lean into the close friends that want to be there for you (they might just be waiting for an invitation.)

And most importantly, draw close to our God of hope and hold fast to the good news that we don’t have to do everything in our own strength (Thank goodness!).

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“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:4-7