Do you find yourself feeling a little overwhelmed in your motherhood journey?
Let me start off by saying one very important thing…
You are not failing.
Every single mother in the whole history of the world has at some point felt a little overwhelmed (or a lot overwhelmed.)
There’s nothing wrong with you.
The perfect mom doesn’t exist…. we’re all imperfect.
There will be seasons that will stretch you farther than you want to be stretched.
But through it all, you will grow! And you will find yourself in future years better equipped to encourage younger mothers in their journey as well.
Does God give us more than we can handle?
I believe He does.
I’m sure we’ve all heard the old adage that “God won’t give you more than you can handle.”
But I don’t think that’s true.
I believe that sometimes he does give us more than we can handle, and in his mercy we are pushed to our own limits so we must turn to Him!
“but He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest on me.”
2 Corinthians 12:9
This doesn’t necessarily mean God has called us to everything we are putting on ourselves. Please prayerfully and intentionally assess your responsibilities and make sure you are only doing what God actually has for you.
If you’re an overwhelmed mom in a busy season with a never-ending to-do list, just know many of us have been there as well.
You’re not alone!
However, if this is something that has gone beyond the run-of-the-mill stressful times and is deeply affecting your mental health, PLEASE reach out to someone.
You may even want to consider a competent therapist if you are struggling with postpartum depression or general depression.
I had a friend today reach out and say she needs some support from her friends as she is struggling. You know what my first thought was?
I am so thankful she reached out.
Thank God she isn’t hiding this and suffering silently.
No part of me thought any less of her. In fact, I so admire her willingness to open the dialogue.
Ladies… don’t hesitate to reach out to someone you trust for some emotional support.
How do we dig ourselves out of overwhelm?
There are many ways to end up in a big heaping pile of overwhelmed disaster, but at the end of the day we need to dig ourselves out.
How do we do this?
No, we don’t set the house on fire, although that would probably be faster.
We need to start by identifying our priorities.
I understand how sometimes the more important priorities can feel less urgent than the other “needs” we perceive around us.
We need to have proper boundaries for our schedules.
Why is it sometimes so easy to take a meal to a friend while forgetting to prepare a nourishing meal for our own family?
Why is it sometimes so easy to run our kids to all of the sports events while failing to get them to church on Sunday?
Identifying our priorities from time to time will help us know WHY we are choosing the things we are choosing to put on our calendars. (Prayerfully, remember.)
Plus, connecting with your spouse and creating unity in your family’s priorities will help everyone be on the same page.
Ladies, don’t forget that our husbands are to be the authority of the family.
If there are things we don’t exactly agree on, then he should get the final say.
After you take the time to identify your priorities, you can adjust your life accordingly.
Clean out the Calendar.
Maybe you were spending an evening every week on something that isn’t life-giving to your entire family.
This is a great time to cut out anything that isn’t working for your family. Sometimes these things are objectively good, but maybe it’s just not the right season for it.
Put everything on the chopping block. Go through everything with your spouse and decide what can be removed (or paused) from the schedule.
Even the kids might not realize they would appreciate a much-needed break.
You may even need to stop doing “good” activities!
I have known many moms that have taken a time away from organized bible studies in a season of having young kids.
Bible studies are wonderful! But sometimes we need to adjust our schedules to suit or individual family’s needs.
And our family life will always be changing as we go through our different seasons of life.
Let’s get into some practical tips!
Do you ever find yourself thinking, “I am just so overwhelmed.” ?
If so, I want you to know how powerful your words to yourself are.
Try your best to stop those thoughts and redirect them into something a little more true, such as, “This season feels overwhelming at times.” Or, “I’m barely keeping up, but I’m still doing my best.”
What we believe about ourselves (and our circumstances) is so powerful and that would be the right place to start.
After that I would look at what your pain points particularly are.
When I am in stressful times, or if I know I’m about to enter a busy season, one small thing I do to have immediate relief is reduce the clutter potential as much as possible.
This looks like boxing up toys that tend to get scattered like confetti by my young kids.
Sometimes I will put extra dishes into storage so the amount of kitchen clutter is manageable (even if everything is dirty!)
I would even encourage you to consider paring down your decor so your surroundings are as peaceful as possible.
The best thing to do to prepare for a busy season is simplify as much as possible.
This will help your household chores be as doable as possible.
That’s typically where the problems lie isn’t it?
When we are overwhelmed our homes tend to look like a tornado went through the middle of the house. Maybe that’s just me…
If we can just manage to stay on top of the bare essentials, then we will feel much better about the chaotic nature of this busy season. (Even if our stress levels are through the roof!)
A clean home brings us so much peace and joy.
Enlist your children to help.
Don’t believe the lie that “A good mom should be able to do everything without help.”
I know this isn’t exactly helpful if you’re already in a busy season and having kids “help” means you just have to do it slowly while explaining what you’re doing.
But I would argue that if you waited until you’re in a completely calm and breezy season to teach the older kids to help with chores, it would never happen.
It’s a huge investment but one that will pay dividends. Please do this for yourself!
Even really young kids can do so much more than we give them credit for.
Our toddlers have all enjoyed putting silverware away (it’s like a matching game!) and dusting (even when there’s still dust-just leave it!)
I always remind the children that if we didn’t have any kids, our house would stay perfectly clean most of the time. Because we have so much fun in our home, we have lots more chores to do to keep it up!
Plus, learning to keep a home is hugely important knowledge and someday they will thank you.
If it doesn’t work to enlist the children to help…
Maybe you’re a new mom experiencing mom burnout for the first time. Maybe your husband is away for work, or maybe you’re a single mom trying to juggle everything.
Fair enough, sometimes it all falls on our shoulders. But what can we do?
Maybe it’s time to consider some professional help. You might need to outsource your house cleaning for a little time.
Hiring someone to help with deep cleaning and laundry once in a while is nothing to be ashamed of. Don’t let mom guilt tell you otherwise!
Back to those priorities… if having a cared for home is a priority above doing recreational activities, then it should take precedence in the budget.
I know how paying someone to help with housework could be hard to embrace (especially for a stay-at-home mom) but in busy seasons we do what we gotta do.
Your priorities are the most important things to have done, not necessarily that YOU be the one getting them done.
You will know if this is right for you and your family members. You get to decide.
At least take care of yourself!
I’m not going to say you should clear your schedule to give yourself a luxurious spa weekend. You can if that works for you, but I would imagine if you’re already overwhelmed in motherhood, then you don’t have that kind of energy.
I’m talking about real self care. Like meeting your basic needs self care.
Are you getting enough rest? Are you feeding yourself nourishing food? Are you getting fresh air and exercise?
These things are not luxuries, they’re needs. I am willing to die on this hill.
You deserve to have your basic needs met!
If we neglect our own personal health needs, we will get run down and eventually will fall ill at some point. We’re only human.
Being stressed is even worse for your immunity. It’s a recipe for disaster. Please take care of yourself.
I dive deep into this topic in my post on “Self-Care for Homemakers”.
Taking care of the kids
I am (ironically) in a very busy season currently. I am quite sick in my first trimester with our fifth baby. The family is very busy with all the things.
I have been keeping up… but barely.
Just the other night we got all the kids bathed and in fresh pajamas at the end of the day and I remember saying,
“Even though life feels a little crazy right now, when all the kids are clean and cared for… I feel like we’re doing alright.”
So, if you’re not sure where to begin, may I suggest just giving all the kids a bath. I’m not joking!
After that, you can acknowledge the fact that you’re doing alright. It’s all going to be okay! You’re making it.
These are the days. We don’t want to just “get through” we want to try to enjoy it if at all possible.
There’s a huge difference between surviving and thriving. We may not always be rocking it, but we can still have a moment for some deep breathing in the midst of a rough patch.
Part of taking care of the kids is not taking our frustrations out on them.
They don’t understand how underneath the surface we feel like a volcano ready to erupt. They don’t know why (this time) asking for a glass of milk could be the final straw in Mommy’s hectic day.
Let’s try to protect them from our overwhelm.
I’m not saying we need to be fake and cheesy.
In fact, the other day I sat the kids down and plainly told them how I was feeling really overwhelmed earlier. I then thanked them for helping me tidy the living room and told them how it blessed me.
They don’t have to be oblivious, they just don’t need to unfairly receive the brunt of our madness. Try to stay cheerful (if you can.)
I know this is way easier said then done, but it’s definitely worth mentioning.
Don’t underestimate the power of a plan!
If you have any bandwidth at all to try and help yourself out, then forming a plan of any sort will be your best strategy.
I’d highly recommend a brain dump.
Don’t overcomplicate this. Just get a notebook (any notebook) and a pen and write everything down. No particular order, just get it out.
Sometimes we feel like all these ideas are swirling in our minds and once we see them written down we think…”I’m sure there was more!”
It’s (almost) always a relief to see it’s not as bad as we thought!
After that, you should have a meal plan.
Running to go grocery shopping every night at 4pm when you finally remember it’s time to make supper AGAIN is just maddening.
Don’t do this to yourself!
Write out a meal plan, and you will save yourself so much mental energy.
It doesn’t have to complicated or color coordinated. I simply have a marker board on the fridge. That’s it!
You can save money by going to the grocery store only once a week. It’s worth every bit of time and effort upfront.
Don’t forget to begin your meal plan by writing our your family’s schedule FIRST.
Then plug in meals according to when you will be home in the evenings and what the weather will be. (Grilling on warm days, soups on cold days, etc.)
Some people do meal plans monthly, some do weekly. Do whatever you feel like you can maintain. Just please do some meal planning for yourself!
Mom life can be really hard work.
You can still be a good mom if you’re having a hard time. The good news is, with a few strategies you can find yourself in a better place.
Life is full of different seasons and we will always be adjusting our lives to accommodate the life we are currently living.
If you’re finding yourself in a season of mommy burnout, please know that you’re not a failure.
Far from it.
The very fact that you’re trying to find some solutions is proof that you are a warrior.
So, don’t give up. Keep fighting for peace and beauty in your home.
And next time you find yourself feeling that familiar feeling of overwhelm bubbling up under the surface, I pray you will remember to breathe and tell yourself it’s all going to be okay.
Because it is.
You’ve got this Mama.
Hi, I’m Stephanie! I’m a Christian wife, mom of 4, homeschooler, and a technically trained chef. I love creating a simple, beautiful life with our sweet family.
I’m so glad you’re here!
Leave a Reply