13 Essential Tips For New Moms (From a Mom of 5)

Few things are more daunting than taking home a new baby with absolutely no idea what to do.

Been there! 

As we loaded our precious newborn daughter into her car seat, my husband and I looked at each other with the same question in our eyes. 

“Are they really just going to let us take this baby home with us?! We have no idea what we’re doing!”

We were new parents and had no idea what we had gotten ourselves into. What a wild ride it’s been!

To all the first-time moms and dads….

Take some deep breaths… it’s all going to be amazing.

After having five precious babies now, I can promise you…. It’s the most beautiful journey you will ever experience.

Here I have compiled a comprehensive list of the 13 things I wish I had known before having a baby for the first time. 

As an added bonus, I have included a “Dad Tidbit!” at the end of this post from my husband (father of 5). 

There is no such thing as perfection, but by God’s grace we will all keep trying.

1. ENJOY IT!

This sounds so obvious and simple, but I promise this is the most important lesson to learn about parenthood in general.

It can be so easy to get caught up in trying to do everything “right” and follow everyone else’s rules, that you forget to savor the sweet moments. 

Social media can be helpful, but it can also feel like information overload. 

Calm down.

I wish I could go back and tell myself to just calm down a bit. In fact, that’s probably the one biggest change that I recognize in myself between my first baby and my fifth.

Don’t overreact when something spills.

There will be all the spills.

It will take less than 2 minutes to get it cleaned up, and it’s not worth ruining the entire day over.

Kids make mistakes, make messes, and break things all the time. But the last thing you want is a sweet child that is afraid of your reaction to their honest mistakes.

Try not to yell. 

2. ALL THINGS POSTPARTUM

*If you are struggling with postpartum depression, please seek help. Your mental health is way too important to ignore.

I have an entire post on this, so if you want to read a bit more on the topic, please check that out here.

However, I have to at least touch on the few things I wish I had known for the postpartum season. 

This is a season.

It’s a short time, but when you’re in it, it feels very consuming. That’s totally okay! Let it be what it is. 

You have all the excuses to opt out of whatever obligations may come your way. (Get your husband on the same page as you. He needs to understand how important it is for you to properly recover.)

No sense in injuring yourself and having issues for years, when you could just take the couple weeks you need now to heal.

Postpartum is a little bonkers the first few days.

You will be up and napping every couple hours around the clock. It can make you feel a little crazy.

I found it helpful to have a couple things to do those first few nights during the nighttime feedings. I had a couple youtube videos and podcasts to catch up on. It sounds silly, but it really helped me.

Newborn babies love skin to skin contact, especially in the beginning. It really helps them be more calm, and sleep more soundly.

Even holding your little one to your chest while you’re both dressed, is still very beneficial. Keep Baby close.

The last note I have on postpartum is to contradict the worst advice I ever heard on the matter. 

The absurd advice went something like….”Have your partner wake up with you for the midnight feedings, so you can go straight to bed after feeding the baby, and Dad can handle the diaper changes.”  

Let your husband sleep. 

There is absolutely no sense in having him be up with you for those nighttime feedings.

No, he should be resting so he is better able to care for you both! If everyone is totally depleted, that’s only going to make everything feel harder than it is. 

Let him sleep! 

And Mama, you need to rest when you can.

Take the extra nap after lunch. Start getting ready for bed at 6pm, so you can get a chunk of sleep before the night really gets going.

Don’t forget to try to consume a balanced diet (especially in your early recovery). Nourishing yourself is nourishing your baby as well!

 It will start to feel like all you do is eat, sleep, nurse, repeat… but that’s just the way it needs to be for a little while. And that is okay!

3. DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH.

I remember just wanting to do everything right for my baby. I wanted to follow all the rules and do everything the experts told me to do. 

With that mindset, there isn’t much need to do your own research.

But it’s critical to understand the ins and outs of standard medical protocols for babies and children. 

If you only get your information from your healthcare provider, you must understand that they are significantly compensated for how well they are able to sell certain routine things. 

Look up the inserts. Read them completely. These are lifelong ramifications for your children and should not be taken lightly. 

It is our responsibility as the parents to prayerfully consider the effects these things may have.

Handing our children blindly over to a medical professional can bring more harm than good. 

There is no one who knows your child better than you. There is no one who cares more than you.

Don’t give away any rights to your children’s health for any reason. YOU are the boss.

4. YOUR BABY NEEDS YOU.

This may seem like a big “duh” moment.

But this was hard for me, at first. I don’t know why I was under the impression my newborn baby was trying to ruin my life and make sure I never slept too long at once.

Obviously, I’m being a bit facetious, but I really had a victim mindset in the beginning.

You’re responsible for this tiny person’s every need.

They are hardwired to need Mama’s affection, love, feedings, changings, snuggles, and more snuggles.

Your baby is not trying to ruin your day. If they are fussier than normal, then odds are they are also having a rough day. So maybe they need even more snuggles and quality time!

Babies are pretty helpless by design. They need our compassion, not our frustration. (Easier said than done, I know.)

5. TRUST YOURSELF!

There will be countless family members and friends (at least for first-time mothers) trying to tell you the best way to do all the things.

It may seem like everyone has some “real advice”. 

You are going to learn to trust your instincts. If something doesn’t sit well with you, you can do more digging. (And you should.)

Not every piece of advice is something you want to take.

In fact, I would say to be very cautious about whose advice you are taking. Look at the fruit of their lives and decide if that’s something you want to emulate. 

If a friend of yours never has healthy children, probably don’t take health advice for your children from her.

If, on the contrary, you can see their family is thriving and the children are healthy, then that may be a great place to receive advice.

Raising your unique children is going to look different than it will for any other family.

This is by God’s design! Trust yourself when you choose to veer from what others are doing.

As long as we are holding to the truths of God’s word, we have much freedom to care for our children how we see fit.

6. IT GOES SO FAST!

This is the most cliche, yet most true mantra about child rearing.

There are seasons, and each season is unique from the next. Each season is fleeting.

The days may feel long, but the years will feel short. 

These are all so true, yet so unhelpful when you’re in the bouts of sleep regressions that seem to drag on for months….

But be encouraged that whatever season you’re walking through (postpartum, teething, sleep regression…) it WILL change eventually.

On that note, when you are really enjoying little moments in a season (that newborn smell) it must be savored because like all seasons…. it is fleeting.

7. SLEEP OR NO SLEEP.

Sigh. Baby sleep….

You will learn how well you can function on very little sleep. It’s amazing actually.

I used to think I would die if I slept less than 6 hours, and now I don’t know what I would do with 6 consecutive hours of sleep!

Honestly, the sleepless nights can be a struggle, but this season is fleeting. However, there are many things you can do to ease the hardship of not sleeping. 

The “professionals” will say it is not safe to co-sleep.

However, I have heard from many seasoned mothers of thriving large families that they have co-slept with all their children and everyone is doing well. 

My point is, YOU need to decide for yourself what you are comfortable with.

This is one of those things we have the freedom to decide for our own family what will work best for us. 

We personally choose not to co-sleep, but implement sleep-training. This is another issue that we have the freedom to choose for ourselves. 

But when it comes to sleep…. it will be very different for a while. And that’s okay! Remember, your baby NEEDS you. 

8. ACCEPT HELP!

Be honest when you could use a hand.

People in your support network will say vague things like “Let me know if you need anything!”

Those are well meaning sentiments, but can feel a little tricky to decipher…. 

But let’s get comfortable saying, “Actually, there is something that would be really helpful, if you don’t mind!”

So often, people are just waiting to be let in. It’s okay to set aside your pride and accept some help.

Maybe joining a parenting group would be a good idea, as well.

I can’t tell you how many times I happened to bump into my best friend until we finally starting meeting together outside of a mom group. It took time, and now I’m so thankful for her support and camaraderie.

Never underestimate the value of a good support system.

Accepting help can also look like seeking help.

If you’re having a difficult time breastfeeding, you may need to seek a lactation consultant. I mention it here, because I’ve even seen mothers need it on their fourth baby after successfully breastfeeding other babies.

If you need some help… get some help!

9. CALM DOWN.

When it comes to little ones, they can seem to get sick really fast.

They can suddenly break out in a rash from head to toe. They can suddenly spike a fever. They will have ailments that may cause you plenty of unrest and worry. 

Here are a few things I’ve learned on the subject.

Most things resolve on their own. Yes, even ear infections. (An otoscope and a bottle of mullein oil is the best thing for ear infections.)

Fevers always get worse in the middle of the night.

It can appear that they are getting worse and worse, but just remember they have a God-given immune system to fight off illnesses.

*Use your parental discretion! If they are seriously ill, then take them to the baby’s doctor . My point is, it is rarely necessary to take them to the doctor.

Try not to google everything!

Googling symptoms is almost never helpful. I know how tempting it is, and still do this sometimes.

But most of the time some fresh air and sunshine is going to be so much more beneficial to your child than taking them to a doctor for antibiotics.

*Again, sometimes they really need to see a doctor…. but usually not.

Also, remember that taking them to a hospital or clinic is going to expose them to all kinds of germs that may not be good for them.

YOU are the parent, and you will know what’s best.

10.YOU CAN GROW YOUR SKILLS!

What an incredible blessing it is to be able to continue learning all of our lives!

If you struggle to keep the house clean, or don’t understand how to bake homemade bread, just understand… you CAN learn these skills!

Don’t sell yourself short and just claim “I can’t bake bread.” or “I will never be a good housekeeper.”

Nope.

You CAN put in the effort to learn and apply knowledge to your life. 

Having a little one may seem like the biggest obstacle in the world, but it actually is the biggest motivator in the world.

You may decide after you have this precious bundle depending on you for everything that you suddenly feel inclined to make everything homemade.

It can feel so difficult to try to learn new skills with little ones around, but plodding along is still making progress.

11. THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX.

You don’t have to follow any rules.

Babies don’t need to get dressed everyday. In fact, it’s much easier to just let them wear zip-up sleepers around the clock until they’re about two months old.

Why wash 8 tiny pieces of laundry when you could just wash one? Plus they can just be more comfortable.

On that note, toddlers don’t have to wear “pajamas” to bed. Any clean and comfortable clothes can act as pajamas. 

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12. HAVE A SPARE.

This is the most practical advice I want to include.

Keeping a spare diaper and pack of wipes in your vehicle will be a huge lifesaver.

It will help you get out of the house with a little less stress. Sometimes the diaper bag can get to be a bit of a jumble.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve found myself away from home with a baby in a dirty diaper, only to realize there were no wipes in the diaper bag!

Luckily Grandma had some paper towels that we were able to rinse with water and use. (Thinking outside the box!)

A spare outfit or two can also come in handy for the family. (Spit up on Mom, blowouts for Baby)

13. DAD TIDBIT.

“Don’t let them die, and enjoy them!”

When we first had our daughter, we would follow her around worrying about every sharp corner and the possibilities of sudden death.

Everything felt like a big deal, even though it rarely is.

They’re going to be okay!  Try to worry less, so you can enjoy them more.

You will look back and wish you had enjoyed them more. You will never look back and wish you had worried more.

To all the new mothers and new fathers: This is such an exciting time! 

You’re going to do great.

You may have a bad day once in a while, but there will be so many beautiful moments that take your breath away.

Just don’t forget to care for your own needs along the way as you adjust to your new role as parent. 

This just might to be the hardest but most rewarding experience of your life.

We mean to encourage you, not frighten you.

It is quite the learning curve, but in a rich and fruitful way. This is the kind of responsibility that you will wonder how you ever floated through life without before. There is truly no greater honor.

I pray you will take the best advice I could compile and apply it to your family however you wish. From the first-time parents walking into the hospital with your ideal birth plan, to the early days of motherhood in the throws of sleep deprivation, we are all in this together.