11 important biblical reasons for marriage

Why does marriage even matter? Isn’t it just a piece of paper?

I’m glad you asked!

Marriage is a God-ordained institution given to us for our flourishing. Let’s discuss 11 Biblical reasons for why marriage matters! 

*If you’ve read any of my posts on marriage, you have seen my disclaimer “this post is pertaining to married couples, not domestic partnerships.”

Why the distinction?

For a few reasons.

Marriage is an institution given to us from the Lord God. That means He is the one who says what the parameters are, and how we are to treat one another. 

God’s word graciously gives us plenty of instruction for how to walk within our marriage covenant.

With a “domestic partnership”, there are no official rules. You just both stay in the relationship as long as it’s serving you the way you like, but there simply can’t be the level of vulnerability that is needed in a life-long covenant.

It’s fair to think at any time your partner might one day leave or lose interest. 

Furthermore, if this ISN’T true of a domestic partnership; if you truly would try to convince someone you have a lifetime commitment “until death do us part”…. then why not just get married?

What is it that’s holding you back? 

Getting married is the best option.

If you’re with someone that bristles at the mention of marriage and you find yourself thinking, “It’s okay, I’m happy enough and I don’t want to rock the boat.”  I want to encourage you to really be honest with yourself.

If a (Christian) person truly loves someone, then they will stop at nothing to marry them.

You don’t want to miss out on God’s blessings because you were tied up in a relationship that isn’t God-honoring.

Let’s talk about 11 biblical reasons why you SHOULD get married!

1- Obedience to God. 

“A man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

Genesis 2:24

This old testament scripture is such a beautiful picture of starting a new family unit. 

I’m not going to say every single person MUST get married in order to be obedient to God. There are certainly people who are called to be single (such as the apostle Paul). 

If you are living in a domestic partnership and you’re not sure if you should get married or not… you should get married or beak up.

Living in a domestic partnership and “enjoying” all the things that you would get to enjoy in a marriage is actually considered sin. Even if you are abstaining from sexual relations, you’re still experiencing an intimacy that is reserved for marriage.

There are so many blessings in being obedient to God. 

We can look at worldly factors such as taxes or debt, and say we “can’t” get married. 

But God.

God is in control of every little thing. And He loves you!

Maybe getting married will be a huge leap of faith for you. That’s okay!

This will be just the first of many big scary things you and your future spouse will do together, and it will be amazing.

2. Stable families create stable communities.

“Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house, your children will be like olive shoots around your table. Behold, thus shall the man blessed who fears the LORD.”

Psalm 128:3

God designed the family to look a certain way on purpose. He has an intentional plan.

God’s design for the family is one man and one woman coming together for life in order to create a safe place for godly offspring to flourish.

*I understand not all married couples are able to have babies. That is a different discussion, but my point here is that you (biologically) need one male and one female to procreate. 

Studies show that children that are raised in an unstable family environment are more likely to become criminals later in life. Furthermore, studies also state how the nature of their upbringing will affect how they start their own families.

One can reason how this will be a snowball affect from one generation to the next. 

It’s up to us to build intact families and encourage others to do so.

So why not just have babies in a heterosexual domestic partnership? I mean, biologically, it’s possible.

Children need stability. It’s extremely hard for young ones to truly excel when they are subconsciously worried that their parents aren’t going to be together forever. 

What if they sit their kids down and explain they aren’t married, but plan to be together forever?

If that could be the case… then one could just as easily ask… why wouldn’t you just get married?

3. Sanctification and growth.

“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.”

Proverbs 27:17

Living with someone in such a vulnerable way lays you open to being known in the most intimate way.

Your most personal habits, your secret weaknesses, your sins… someone else is going to end up seeing it all. 

Marriage is a lifelong commitment. In that lifelong commitment, you’re bound to see your spouse in just about any situation imaginable.

How they react to large crowds, how they prepare for a trip, how often they shower. 

One purpose of marriage is our sanctification.

When you want your spouse to see the best in you, then it stands to reason that you will strive for your best.

Knowing that someone (you want to impress) is going to see your every move, is going to motivate you to be the best you can be. 

If your spouse loves God and wants the best for you, then they will be encouraging you to grow in your faith. This will be a huge catalyst in your walk with God.

They may ask what you’ve been reading in God’s word lately, or ask how your prayer life has been (lovingly, without judgement please). You can pray together and encourage each other in a most uniquely intimate way. 

They may come to you with opportunities to serve as a family. Or they may need your encouragement in a desert season of their own (we’ll talk more about this in a minute.)

4. We can do so much more together than on our own.

“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. “

Ecclesiastes 4:9

Having a collective goal with your spouse can be one of the most bonding and exciting aspects of being together.

Achieving great things as a married couple, knowing it’s all due to the joint efforts of your teamwork, is such a wonderful part of marriage.

This can be true of back-breaking hard work projects, or paying off huge sums of debt together.

When one of you loses steam, the other is there to encourage, helping us remember our WHY.

​The institution of marriage is meant for teamwork.

Those times in life when you’re not sure you can do (fill in the blank). If you have someone who KNOWS you more than anyone else in the world knows you, and they truly believe you CAN do this, you can’t help but believe in yourself too!

This alone will push you farther than you ever could have gone on your own. 

5. We were created to crave human connection. 

The vast majority of people desire a romantic relationship from an early age. 

“Then the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him’ “

Genesis 2:18

He said “It is not good…”

 This statement from God came after a myriad of “It is good!” declarations.

God wanted the first man to have someone to do life with. This happened after Adam named the animals, and still there wasn’t a suitable companion for him. This even included DOGS!

The first marriage was created shortly after the world was created. Marriage has a very high importance to God.

God created us male and female to perfectly compliment each other. 

6. A representation of Christ and the Church. 

“For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.”

Ephesians 5:23

To be able to represent God’s love to the world is a huge honor. Your marriage will be a picture of how God never leaves us or forsakes us. Even when we don’t deserve it, he forgives us.

He died for us. And He loves us still.

What could be more beautiful?

Obviously, we are sinners and can never love as perfectly as Jesus Christ, but we have a pristine example of what we are striving for. 

7. Sexual purity.

“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine;”

Song of Solomon 1:2

Can you believe it took me this long to get to this one?

Sex is a very obvious reason for marriage.

But our sexual desire is by God’s design, and it is a good thing!

This is such a huge topic and requires much delicacy, so please bear with me.

A healthy marriage will have a healthy sex life. 

Sexual intimacy outside the covenant of marriage is sexual immorality. There really is no gray area here.

Sex is meant to be between one man and one woman within the confines of a covenantal marriage for life. That means, we were meant to only have one sexual partner for our whole entire lives. 

Many of us have gotten this wrong and have felt the repercussions of sexual sin that follows us into marriage. The intimacy that is produced through a sexual relationship is deep, and hard to forget about (if that relationship breaks apart).

“Enjoying” what was only meant for married people to enjoy will cause a great deal of brokenness, and heartache.

 Some of these sins even have lifetime consequences, such as sexually transmitted diseases, pregnancy out of wedlock, and God forbid, the devastating affects of abortion. 

I would be willing to boldly proclaim, that if people were truly saving sexual intercourse for marriage, then there wouldn’t be nearly as many people dragging their feet to get married. 

The marriage bed is meant to be a beautiful gift from God to bless our relationship. If we follow God’s design, it will be for our best! 

8- For your spouse’s well-being.

“…You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

Mark 12:31

Standing up in front of God, family and friends and solemnly vowing to stick together forever, is an astronomical declaration.

This is no small thing!

But with it, will come the deepest desire for your spouse’s well-being. 

I’d like to make a statement, and I’d love to hear if you agree or disagree (please leave me a comment).

We can take care of our spouse better than they can take care of themselves.

I’m not talking about personal hygiene or feeding yourself, but the standard of care will inevitably be lesser than what your spouse will desire for you.

Any good wife out there who’s heard her husband joke about dying young thinks to herself, “Not on my watch!” and starts immediately giving him supplements and organic kale.

Or for the wife who feeds all the kids lunch and accidentally forgets to feed herself, then finds herself ravenous at 3pm and her husband strides in the door with a little treat for her just in the knick of time (maybe even a coffee!) 

Life is busy, and we will put ourselves last to our detriment.

Our spouse will be there to make sure we are drinking enough water, getting some rest, or finding time to be with God. 

When you’re both tending to the deep needs of the other person, there develops a beautiful synergy that is truly magnificent. This is such a precious way of loving each other, and serving one another. 

9-Safety in our covenant

“Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins”

1 Peter 4:8

Have you ever messed up really big? 

We all have. There is something so sweet about being met with grace and forgiveness instead of harsh ridicule when you’ve failed at something important.

There is an element of safety and security when you know you are in a lifelong covenant with your spouse, and they are on your side… no matter what.

When you have a bad day, well at least you know you can go home to someone who is kind and sympathetic and wants to brighten your day. Someone who is on your team and is willing to defend you to the end.

And who knows… maybe your spouse will want to help you forget about your hardship with a little time of sexual connection! 

10- Witnessing to the world.

“Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.”

Ephesians 5:15-16

If a Christian couple (who are professing Christians) are living in a domestic partnership, it will confuse the witness to unbelievers.

We are called to walk a certain way on purpose. The Bible gives us instruction for how to live, and that doesn’t change in any time period or culture in history. 

I’m not saying we should do something simply to impress other people, not at all. But this is something that you will benefit from if you marry your partner instead of living in a “domestic partnership”.

People will ask where your husband is if you go to a family event without him. Seldom, people will ask where your boyfriend is, as it will be implied you’re just not very serious if he didn’t attend a family event with you.

The extended family of each spouse can more easily embrace the relationship, because they see how important it is to both people. 

It’s also very confusing to children if they have an “auntie” or “uncle” that isn’t married into the family, then after they break up they have to come to understand that these people are no longer in their lives. 

If you’re in a relationship and you have no intentions of breaking up, you should get married! Your loved ones want to embrace the relationship and celebrate with you.

Getting married is a public declaration of your commitment to each other, and it’s a respectable decision. 

You don’t want to get married solely to avoid “judgement” by others, but there are benefits to be realized by publicly declaring your love and commitment to your spouse.

11 -Joy!

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control…”

Galatians 5:22

Earlier we discussed how God graciously gives us instruction for how to walk out marriage, and life in general.

The fruit of the spirit is a gift from God that comes to us as we are sanctified and learning more and more about Christ. Every single relationship in our lives will be touched by these wonderful “fruits”. 

Who doesn’t want a joyful marriage? Who wouldn’t want to be married to someone that is faithful, gentle, kind, and patient? 

If we are trying to obediently walk with Jesus, then these fruits are promised to us. Not in our strength, but by God’s grace! 

 As you go through life cultivating an intimate relationship in marriage (albeit imperfect) it will create so many fun moments.

We will have inside jokes with each other. We will have years of joyful memories that will make us smile. We will have ups and downs that we have experienced and come out the other side even closer and more connected with each other. 

What could be more fun than that?

​Why not get married?

Marriage might seem a little scary at first. What if you make a mistake and end up accidentally marrying the wrong person?! 

Dearly beloved, if you are considering marrying someone who loves Jesus more than they love you, then it’s going to be okay.

Being able to come back again and again to God’s word and letting it bear its weight on your lives and marriage will be your lifeline at times, and that’s a good thing.

God designed marriage to be an institution for our flourishing and growth. 

God’s beautiful design for marriage

When the first marriage took place, and God presented Adam’s wife to him, he exclaimed “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh…”

Ladies, do you know what a gift you are to your own husbands?

Men and women were uniquely crafted to compliment each other within the bounds of a strong marriage. 

Christian marriages are made of two sinners who love each other and Jesus and want to cultivate a loving relationship together.

That’s it! It isn’t complicated.

There’s no secret formula to guarantee a “successful marriage”. You just take it one day at a time, together, and by God’s grace we can be taught how to love one another well. 

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“Let marriage be held in honor among all.”

Hebrews 13:4

The author of this new testament passage is aptly stating how precious marriage is. We should all see it as such!

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“I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”

Ephesians 4:1-3